Long Overdue

"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations."
Anais Nin

Okay...here we go...as from my last post, y'all may know that I'm sitting down in Dallas right now. Let me just say it's a complete 180 from Midland, MI. I mean, the area of Dallas I'm in is kinda similiar to Midland, but not too much. It's suburban, so that's about it. Temps are in the 90s - 100s...which is about 20-30 degrees more than in Michigan. A lot more people, that's for sure. For the suburban area I'm in, there's about 110,000 people (according to my uncle)...in Midland, there's 40,000, maybe 50,000 people. A lot more diverse, too. Midland is very much a white city. I mean, there are other races, but definitely not a lot. Here, the diversity is very noticable. I like it. There's probably as many Spanish radio/TV channels as there are English channels. The only thing I'm not too fond of yet is the driving. Texans will drive for miles with their blinkers on...and the traffic!! I was not born a city girl, that's for sure. Went to Fort Worth the other day...cowboys all around. I could get used to that. And the accent is cute as hell! I love southern accents!! So what am I doing here? Well, my uncle knew I needed to get out of Michigan before I drove myself crazy, so he invited me down here to stay for a bit. Best part is that I get to drive a loud-ass (modified) Dodge Ram - my favorite kinda truck!!!

Other than that, not really a lot has been going on. I celebrated my birthday two weeks ago. I got shitfaced. And that's an understatement. I don't remember much from that night. In fact, there's a point that I don't remember anything after it. Apparently, people kept putting shots in front of me, and I just kept taking 'em like a champ. Granted, by the end of the night, apparently I was throwing up all over the parking lot. It was good to have all my friends around, but watching them made me realize how ecclectic I am. There was a noticable disconnect between my pierced/tattooed friends and all my gym friends. I wish I could remember the night, but I really don't...it was at that point that I decided I'm seriously done drinking. For real. I mean it this time, dammit. I did feel guilty for celebrating my birthday after finding out only a few days before that my friend had been killed. It still gets to me when I think about it. And I'd say that I just don't think about it, but that's a lie. *sigh*

Hmmm...I really don't think there's that much else going on right now...I might try and find a recruiter down here (know any good ones??)...I'm probably going to go up to Sheppard AFB to visit my ex (Shut up, Randy!) and then down to Ft. Hood next weekend to visit a friend of mine. I need to find people around here...my days consist of: wake up, gym, come home, shower, sit around for a bit, eat, head back to the gym...OHH!! Speaking of the gym...found a Bally's nearby...It's no Smitty's, but it works. I ended up walking out of there with a free month membership...they had an online thing for a two-week trial...on it, there was some fine print that said if I didn't win a year membership and brought the pass in within 48 hrs of getting it, that my trial got extended for 30 days...the guy was like, "Damn. I've never noticed that." Pays to read the fine print...thank you Contract Law. Anyway...one of the trainers offered me a free session...he's in the National Guard down here and knew I wanted to join. He was impressed with my PU ability (and I was, too!)...but he took my body fat percentage with one of those hand-held bio-electrical impedence devices. Lemme tell you, those things are about as accurate as the Army tape test. And I swear everyone except the Bally's trainers know this. Your body fat readings on those things can be affected by a lot of different factors, including hydration levels. See...

The use of bioelectrical impedance measurements of the body to assess the fat and fat-free components of an individual is increasing. Before this method can gain widespread application, it is necessary to evaluate the variability of the measurements. A group of 80 men and 83 women was measured in three separate trials of two times per day for two nonconsecutive days. Statistical analyses indicated that determination of a representative value for an individual can be achieved if measurements are made on two days rather than on one day. This finding indicates that the influence of uncontrolled factors, including skin-electrode interactions and body water distribution, impact the measured impedance variables. Knowledge of the need for duplicate measurements to assure representative impedance measurements will assist epidemiologists who seek to use the impedance method for national nutritional surveys and researchers who use this method for monitoring nutritional status of patients.
From: "AN EXAMINATION OF BIO-ELECTRICAL IMPEDANCE ERRORS USING GENERALIZABILITY THEORY"


The trainer swore it was 97% accurate and wouldn't do a caliper reading because apparently the caliper is less accurate than the bio-electrical impedence method. Whatever. Anyway...I wasn't happy with the reading. Oh well. Army doesn't use that method either, so it doesn't matter what my caliper reading or bio-electrical impedence reading is...just the tape. Which is another reason why I wanna find a recruiter down here...

...okay, I'm done babbling for now. Y'all have a good day now, ya'hear? =)

COWBOY ZAMBONI!!!

...just an FYI...I'm in Texas now. Dallas area. Currently watchin' some 18-wheeler get chased by cops...

Anyway...went to Billy Bob's last night...caught a rodeo...found what I coined a Cowboy Zamboni:



...for those of you not familiar with the game of hockey (*cough*SFC B*cough*) a Zamboni is the machine thingy they use to clear the ice off with between periods.

I'll write more later. Just thought I'd letch'all know I'm not in Michigan now.

RIP Sgt. Benjamin Laymon24 June 2006

"Be convinced that to be happy means to be free and that to be free means to be brave. Therefore do not take lightly the perils of war."
Thucydides

So...I've been really curious about one of my friends...I mean, he's over in Iraq and I haven't heard from him since June...and I found out he was killed over there. We weren't exactly CLOSE friends...but we joked around all the time about how we were gonna hook up...he's a big Irish guy...my favorite kind. Our last conversation was two days before he was killed. We were joking about how all these married guys seem to hit on me...he then asked if I was going to come visit him when he got back in the States...I said 'Maybe,' and he responded, 'I could get married if that's what you like.' I know a shit-ton of people in the military, many serving now in Iraq or Afghanistan. I was fortunate enough, until now, to not have to feel that pain of losing someone to this war. Ben was a good guy...always made me smile...Looking through our old messages, I asked him once how things were...his response? 'Its ok.....I'm not dead so thats a plus.' Every time I talked about how Michigan sucked, he said it was because I missed him so much...told me to be strong...lol...Also told me not to join the Marines or Army...go Air Force...told me I wouldn't like him anymore if I became a Jarhead. I'm sitting here crying and laughing as I read over our old conversations...he was such a dork...He was stationed at Ft. Hood with the 4ID, and I had told him I might be getting a job down with the Border Patrol in Corpus Christi..."You hand cuff me? I'll put on a straw hat. Ever seen a red headed, white Mexican?" I called him a dork and he called me a gringo...

...I don't know. It's just sad. I always told him to stay safe, and he always told me he would. *sigh* I don't even know the proper response to all this.

In the words of the Roman poet Horace, "Dulce et decorum est / Pro patria mori."

Talking to my friend Sean...a Marine...told him about Ben...told him I didn't know how to feel...it's new to me...so he told me, "Feel proud, you know someone who gave the ultimate sacrifice to give those people the same type of freedom that we have, he did a great thing."

Ben...I'm proud of you. I'm proud of everything you did...of everything you were...I'm proud to have known you. If there is a heaven, I'm sure you're there.