So Cliched

Don’t blame the mirror for an ugly face.
(I don't know where this is from...my friend had it up on MSN Messenger, and I loved it! And Yahoo is not cooperating with me to find out where it's from.)

So, yeah, I am so fucked right now. No, not fucked UP. Fucked. Screwed. In major, big time trouble (Okay, not major, big time, but could be!). Let's just say I weighed myself this morning, and I swear the scale told me to get off, I was hurting it. So. Yeah. I SUCK. Fuckin' A! I might not hafta worry about my reno coming through if I can't get rid of this weight, dammit. My friend was like, "Uh, someone is trying to tell you something!" She, among with a lot of others do not want me leaving at all. What the fuck do they expect me to do? Stay in Midland, working at Smitty's the rest of my life!? Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I don't get a)enough hours or b)enough money to live off of. Plus, there is nothing to do in this town (as evidenced by me even WRITING THIS ON NEW YEAR'S EVE!) and staying here would be a sure-fire way to drive myself insane.

Anyway. New Year's Eve. This is such a bullshit 'holiday.' I was talking to one of the members at the gym yesterday and he basically shared the same sentiment. He said, "There's so much pressure for you to do something COOL on New Year's Eve. And if you don't, you're a loser!" This was after I told him I was most likely sleeping my New Year's Eve away and he didn't make some comment about me being lame or stupid or anything like that. Then this other member walked in and we asked him what he was doing. "Uh, sleeping?" Haha! VINDICATION IS MINE! I AM NOT THE ONLY LOSER IN MIDLAND! =)

...there really was a point in mentioning New Year's Eve and all that shit. As you probably are well aware, this is the time of resolutions and changes in people's lives. I was reading a great article ("Iron John: Free Will & Free Weights" by Dan John) about will power and all that good stuff. The author, Dan John, mentions how there are basically ways in which one can better achieve his/her goals (he's actually talking about freeing up one's free will, but that's a concept you're going to hafta read the article to fully grasp). First, you've got to find someway to create the best environment to acheive those goals. Second, TELL EVERYONE. Make yourself accountable to what you've promised. Lastly, downsize your life. He uses the example of the guy who bitches about not having enough time to train, but in the next breath, can spout off the plots for all the latest television hits. Find what's important and get rid of what's not. Anyway, concept #2 is not something foreign to me (if you remember, I posted entries about my goals because I thought that would make me accountable for reaching them. I was wrong. Dead wrong). So, I figured I'm going to post my "resolutions" although I prefer the term "goals" because goals, to me, are something I am capable of acheiving if given the right circumstances and tools to do so. However...as I type this, I realize that because of the unknown nature of what next year will bring, I can't really set goals that might be achievable. For example, I would love to run a marathon, but I don't know that I'll have the schedule to properly train for one, ya know? So, in actuality, I'm not going to post my goals, and this whole last paragraph has been a waste! =)

Either way...I wish I had written down what my resolutions for 2005 were because I'd be able to look back and see what good it actually did to set them. Looking back at my old blog ("Strenght Reveals Itself Through Character") I notice that I only had one goal, that I set in March - to join the military by September. Well, I got half of it, so that counts for something right?? I mean, I joined in October. Wasn't TOO far off. Okay...now that I'm rereading some of my old journal entries, I'm almost tempted to post them, but I won't. If you care, you can go and read them. I won't bog you down any further.

Happy New Year and I only wish for y'all that 2006 is better than 2005.