Someone Else, Please?
Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis
That is seriously my motto when I'm working out...it means "sound mind in a sound body." Li'l bit of trivia for y'all related to this: The shoe company Asics was named after a variant of this quote - anima sana in corpore sano - which actually means "sound soul in a sound body," (since Msics didn't form a word).
Anyway...I'm in a funk, so I decided to ramble about it for a bit. I'm at this point in my life where I feel like I'm not going anywhere. I'm 22 years old and I have a college degree, yet I live at home with my father and work a part-time job in a field that has nothing to do with my degree. The thing is, the only thing I want to do with my life is serve my country. That's the next step in my logical plan for myself. Yet, I'm be stopped. Over and over again. I sometimes wonder if the struggles I've been having with the Army point to my persistance or my stubbornness. I don't believe in God or any of that crap (sorry), but I wonder if me not shipping and all the shit that's been going on with the Army is somehow I sign that maybe the Army isn't the right fit for me. I mean, I've been talking to an Air Force recruiter, and everything he's said seems, ya know, good, but I fear that if I joined the Air Force, I would be giving up on the Army. Part of me says, "You want to serve your country, which you can do in any branch - Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, or Coast Guard," while another part of me says, "You've worked your ass off so hard for the Army, why stop now?!" I want someone to come along and make this decision for me, but I know the only person who can is me. *sigh* It only adds to the frustration. I want nothing more than to serve my country, but here I am, working at a gym...Everyone has told me to go Air Force (or Navy), except a few select people...My boss, for one, a former staff sergeant in the Army, told me once, simply, "Follow your heart." He said this knowing that my heart was set on the Army. Then there's Sean, who wants me to join the Marines. He told me, "Chelsea, you'll be easy to spot at Fort Bragg because you'll be the only Marine wearing Army greens." Apparently, I have the mentality of a Marine (I don't know yet if this is a good thing or not). I know that if I went Air Force, I would get a lot of shit from my recruiter about me giving up and all that shit, which frustrates me...I want to make the decision that's right for me. But I don't know what that is yet.
Here's what I want...I want to serve my country, first and foremost. However, I'd also like to get experience in a intel-type field that would later help me snatch a position with the CIA as a military or political analyst (my dream job). I also want something that will challenge me and allow me to further my education at the same time. Both the Army and the Air Force have the Funded Legal Education Program (I think all branches have this), so that's a plus. I'm not concerned with my chances of getting promoted, or killed for that matter. If I die serving my country, then I'll at least die knowing that my death was not in vain. *sigh*
I'm so frustrated I can't even think straight right now...so I'll stop rambling for now...
posted by SuGaRBuTT @ 11:33
4 Comments:
At 16 March, 2006 12:58,
SuGaRBuTT said…
It's the weight...Trust me, if there was anything else, everyone who reads this blog would know...I don't hold back...
On the law enforcement issue...I have a degree in Criminal Justice, but during one of my classes, the prof brought in an attorney to talk to class and she played a tape of a recorded 911 call...the girl was in the process of getting raped...it was the worst thing I have ever heard...then you hear the police come barging in...I don't think I could deal with that, for some reason...I would want to beat the hell outta the guy that was raping her...
At 16 March, 2006 13:14,
Mommy said…
Chelsea,
If you followed my recruitment journey at all then you know that I've been through a lot of crap with the Army, too. My mom also said at one point "maybe these are signs it wasn't meant to be." F--- that. YOU are in control of your destiny. If you want the hardships to be a sign that it's not meant to be, then you can interprete them that way. But I don't think that's the case with you.
I was told "no" time and time again with the Army and I kept fighting. For me, it took getting a new recruiter who believed in me and wanted to get me in uniform. And 3-4 weeks later I had signed my contract and sworn in!
Girl, I don't know what to say on the weight issue. I've read your struggles and I'll be honest, I can't relate to your EXACT situation. I can tell how hard you work your ass off (no pun intended)...but something isn't adding up here. I mean, how far off are you?? Hey, I'm all about doing things the healthy way but if it's 5-6 lbs. then use 'alternative' methods to get that weight off.
You know, the MEPS nurses said that the Army has the most strict weight/height requirements. My max was 137 for my height and another girl who was the same height as me was allowed up to 165 for the Air Force!! Regarding the branch, Vonnie is right...you need to sit down and write out lists of pros and cons and such for each branch. I was hardcore with the Marines for a few months but then realized that the career opps. for women just weren't there for what I wanted to do. Same with Navy. The Army fit me for what my long term goals were. Sorry, but I'm uninformed when it comes to Air Force....but uh, I'll refrain from making all of the jokes that I'm sure you already know.
You say that you're not holding anything back and that it's only the weight that is stopping you. Okay, but you got to where you needed to be before and almost shipped! Were you at weight then?? Are you SURE there's nothing else going on? Sorry for the tough love...but I want to see you succeed and not waste that brain of your's. The military needs people like you!
At 16 March, 2006 13:35,
SuGaRBuTT said…
I think the worst thing is that everything I've done to my body to get into the Army has affected my metabolism and I have this horrible ability to gain and lose weight like nobody's business...there are things that, in a way, I have been holding back on here simply because I don't want to jeopardize getting in the military...I've never hidden my identity, so it wouldn't be hard to figure out who I am and call up my recruiter or something...it all circles around my weight though...
Vonnie - cmrider@svsu.edu
At 06 April, 2006 19:56,
JL said…
If you want to try to get a job with the CIA, DIA, or something like that, I would hold out for a job as a 97b. I did that in the army and had a lot of opportunities to go into the intel field. I decided against it and became a cop instead.
However, most of the guys I was in the army with stayed in intel. One is with the NSA. Another is a contractor with SOCOM. Another works for the State Dept. 97B is really the way to go.
Good luck.
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