Four Days

“I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, and torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

I know, I know...another Nietzche quote...deal with it...hehe...

Anyway...I have four days (Today, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday) before I head to MEPS again. Tomorrow is my 68-day anniversary...hehe...In other words, 68 days ago I was DQ'd because I'm just too fat...lol...rightttt...This morning at the gym, one of the regulars, who loves to greet me with "Whaddup bitch!," told me I was wasting away - "Do they want you under 100lbs or what!?" I laughed...Not even close...

But yeah, I went into to see my recruiter yesterday and I was still technically over...All I need to do is drop like 3 pounds and beef up my forearms (probably doable), wrists (not likely), and neck (I'll try, I guess...)...I feel like a total slug today becaues I didn't go run this morning...It was cold and rainy, and I only ate about 800 calories yesterday; my body just wasn't up for a 4-miler this morning...Hell, it was almost useless for me to go at all...My alarm went off at 0430, but I got up to shut it off and crawl back into bed (since the weather was crappy, I didn't need to be out early to run)...But my dad's stupid, fucking wife was up getting ready for work, slamming cupboards shut...for like, 20 minutes, all I heard was "SLAM!"...I was so close to going downstairs and slamming her face into one of the cupboards...Goddamn trailer trash bitch...Geezus christ...She throws temper tantrums for no good reason, and it's always inevitably my fault...She hates that I rank higher than she does in my dad's life...HELLO! I'm his daughter...Anywayyyy...I basically went to the gym for an hour, came back home, slept for an hour, had breakfast, crawled back into bed and read (Once a Runner by J. Parker)...I finished The Warrior Elite Wednesday...God that book made me wanna be a SEAL...damn gender restrictions...oh well...

So yeah, here I am...just waiting for these four days to pass by...hoping I drop those three pounds...I'm taking three types of laxatives (gross, I know...but, like Larry the Cable Guy says, "GIT 'ER DUN!"...a diuretic...and eating under 1000 calories a day...Not fun...I have no energy for anything else...Hell, I'm in bed by 2000-2030 most nights just waiting for sleep to overtake me...The Army should just let me in based on pure dedication alone...Seriously...I'm college-educated and in shape...so I don't meet some damn, arachic standards, big fuckin' deal...I'm not gonna die of a heart attack or anything during BCT...I have under 22% body fat, but according to the Army, I have over 35%...Seriously...Whatever...Yet still I push for this...God I am S-T-U-B-B-O-R-N!! If I can get through this shit, BCT should be no problem...hehe...I know how far my body can go...blah...

Anywayyyy...I think I'm done with my rant for the day...Ya know, reading my journal, someone might think I have bipolar or something...One day, I'm all "HOOAH" for the Army...the next day, I'm bitching about it...I pray that things change once I get in...My recruiter told me yesterday, "I cannot wait until you pick your job so you're done putting up with this BS!" Yeah, me too...

On a small side note, check out the Recruiter's blog in my links...It's really interesting to see things from the other side of this process...Makes me wonder what my recruiter calls me when I'm not around...Although, I'm in that damn office so much, they all know me by name...hehe...