Frustrated, Angry, Pissed, Upset, Disgusted, Unmotivated, Undisciplined, UNCHELSEA

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.”
--Carlos Castaneda

Yeah, that's me right now. Everything. I broke down at the gym today...Some of the shit I'm taking to help me drop weight has fucked with my CV conditioning, and I can barely run a mile without dropping...I used to run 5, no problem! WTF!?! So, about seven minutes into my cardio, I fuckin' pounded the 'Stop' button on the treadmill, ran into the bathroom, and broke down. Stood there staring at myself in the mirror, completely disgusted and frustrated with myself. What the fuck happened to the girl who used to love running and working out and all that good shit!? What happened to my muscles!? There is no word in the Englist language strong enough to accurately describe how much I hate myself right now. I FUCKING SHIP IN 12 DAYS AND I HAFTA DROP 18 (YES, EIGHTEEN) POUNDS OR ELSE I DON'T LEAVE AND GET DEP-DROPPED. Shoot me now. I know I CAN do...if my body were willing to cooperate with me.

It's Hockey Day in Canada (Yes 'Day' and not just 'Night'), so I think I might crawl into bed and just watch hockey and sleep.