Well I Did It

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
Unknown


This is the email I sent to my recruiter earlier today...haven't heard back...kinda nervous...Can't wait for the threats of fines and jail time...haha...BRING IT ON...=)

Hey…

First and foremost, do not underestimate my desire to serve my country, particularly in the Army. If I didn’t truly want this, I wouldn’t have busted my ass for the past two years, at least, to try and get in. If you doubt my commitment, you are more than welcome to come to the gym and talk to the scores of people who would prefer that I not join and who have talked with me and seen what I’ve put myself through for this. Trust me, dealing with getting constantly accused of having an eating disorder, or throwing my life away, or one of the many other accusations I’ve had thrown at me, is not fun.

However, I do have to put myself first in this whole thing and look out for my future and what I want to do. That being said, I do not want to ship next week unless I have, in my contract, that my MOS will be 37F (PSYOPS). When I signed for 96B (Intel Analyst) it was with the understanding that SFC. E would help me renegotiate my contract to get an MOS I wanted. On the second trip down to Chicago, after I had refused to sign for any other jobs, E had called the MEPS and talked to me. He told just to sign for SOMETHING and that he would work on a reno for me. So, on my third trip, that’s what I did – signed for something under the impression that E would help me out. Now I feel a bit…screwed, to say the least.

I have in front of me various paths I could take in my life. I could go on to get my Masters degree, my Juris Doctorate, or my Doctorate in Philosophy. I could apply for the FBI, CIA, or any other numerous agencies and start from the bottom. I have a Bachelors degree and graduated with the highest honors – there’s a world of opportunities available to me if I wanted. If I wanted. That’s the key – want. As I said before, what I want is to serve my country and do something in my life that I can be proud of. There are things I’ve accomplished that I should be proud of doing – losing all the weight I did, getting a full-tuition scholarship, graduating with top honors in four years with a double major and a minor. But none of that, or anything else I’ve done in my life, has produced the feeling of pride and accomplishment that taking the enlistment oath that I felt. Understand?

I also want you to know that I appreciate so much what you and SFC. Brown have done for me. I mean that. I wish there were stronger words to express my gratitude to you. Regardless of it being your job, you’re one of a VERY SMALL pool of people who have supported my decision to enlist.

I don’t know what exactly I’m supposed to do at this point. I don’t want to screw up any chance I have of re-enlisting at some point, but I also don’t want to ship without a guarantee of PSYOPS or even OCS at this point. Nor am I going to ship on the premise that my reno MAY come through while I’m in Basic. Like I said, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do at this point, but I do know that E cannot force me to ship, which I feel he’s going to try and tell me that I do.