Oh Shit

My recruiter is going to kill me:

Mid-March

“The tragedy of Canada is they could have had British culture, French cooking, and American technology, but instead they got American culture, British cooking, and French technology.”

My hommage to my foresaken Canadian hockey team...*crying* I guess Finland for the Gold...*sniffle*

Anyway, I went to see my recruiter today...He doesn't understand how I can LOOK smaller, but weigh more...and, to be honest, neither can I...either way, I'm not that far off...10 lbs...He's written into his planner for me to come in every Wednesday for a height/weight check...and then he's scheduled me (tentatively) to go to MEPS on the 16th of MEPS or something...I told him I wanted out by the end of March..He said I'll be ready by next week...hehe...I'm glad someone has faith in me, because after what happened yesterday, I was losing hope in my life...

Speaking of that whole thing, I am much better today...I mean, the guy is still an asshole in my mind, but I'm not vindictive or anything...Sad, yeah, very. But not enraged or anything. Thanks for all the support and stuff!

So...36 days until the end of March (not counting today)...I can do this...

Of course...

"...It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better..."
Keith Urban, "Tonight I Wanna Cry"

Ya know when things get going good, you get in a groove, everything is well? Calm before the storm. Fuck. Things were going too well. I knew something had to be up somewhere. I was right.

The guy I was kinda-sorta seeing was seeing someone else

Go figure. I fall for someone and they fall for someone else. And it hurts. Bad. I hate it. I do not like this one bit. I was doing fine until my friend told me I should go drinking but do not listen to Urban's "Tonight I Wanna Cry." So what do I do? Listen to the damn song. Fuckin' a...I am an idiot. I'm just really kinda hurt right now. I want to eat a jar of peanut butter and sleep. I think I'll just sleep though. I hate boys.

That is all.

Moto

No event in American history is more misunderstood than the Vietnam War. It was misreported then, and it is misremembered now.
Richard Nixon (hate him, but he has a valid point)

So, yeah. I was at the gym this morning, doing my last 30 minutes of cardio, and I looked up at the TV. Someone had been watching the History Channel. They were doing a documentary on the 101st Airborne Division during the Vietnam War (the Screaming Eagles). And then my MP3 player started playing some cadences that I have loaded on it to run to. Talk about motivation. HOOAH. But of course, this guy, one of the ones that wants me in the Navy, decided to come over and start singing "Anchors Away." He's more concerned about me not getting killed then me actually enjoying my job and what I do. I mean, thanks and all, but the Navy isn't what's in my heart, ya know? Blah.

Oh, and since I've been talkin' about the Vietnam War lately, here's a link to to Captain Walter Roy Schmidt, Jr., whose POW/MIA bracelet I've been wearing for a coupla years now. I don't know what I'm going to do when I go to BCT because I know they won't let me wear it. People ask me why I wear it and if I knew him or something. I then hafta explain that I wear the bracelet as a constant reminder of those who gave their life for their country. "Gone, but never forgotten."



Virtual Wall

Vietnam Veterans Memorial

Good Vietnam War Site

Only Thing...

...I like about the Winter Olympics are the hockey games.

Is it wrong of me to cheer for Canada?? I love their hockey team! Adam Foote...mmm...

I'm willing to bet they get gold (or silver at the least, after Finland). Sadly, I don't think the USA will medal.

R-E-P-E-A-T!

Why?

The country that sent us off to war was not there to welcome us home. It no longer existed. We answered the call of one President who was now dead; we followed the orders of another who would be hounded from office, and haunted, by the war he mismanaged so badly.
Many of our countrymen came to hate the war we fought. Those who hated it the most - the professionally sensitive - were not, in the end, sensitive enough to differentiate between the war and the soldiers who had been ordered to fight it. They hated us as well, and we went to ground in the cross fire, as we had learned in the jungles.
In time our battles were forgotten, our sacrifices were discounted, and both our sanity and our suitability for life in polite American society were publicly questioned. Our young-old faces, chiseled and gaunt from the fever and the heat and the sleepless nights, now stare back at us, lost and damned strangers, frozen in yellowing snapshots packed away in cardboard boxes with our medals and ribbons.
From the prologue of We Were Soldiers Once...and Young by Lt. Gen. Harold G. Moore (Ret.) and Joseph L. Galloway

I woke up this morning at 5am...and in my efforts to fall back asleep (it's Sunday, no need for this!), I started surfin' the TV...found The District reruns (why'd they cancel this show!?)...caught the end...The Chief and Ella were at the Wall. No words were spoken. The image always, ALWAYS hits me. I cried. My father was a Vietnam vet. He was, what he considers, one of the unlucky one. He made it home. He dealt with getting spit on, called names, and all-around disrepected for his service. He lost friends and a part of himself that I'll never be able to experience. He volunteered for service during the War. VOLUNTEERED.

That is why I want to serve. Because many before me have and many after me will. I love my country.

Semi-Rant

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.”
Carlos Castaneda

Okay, I'm in a funk and I need to rant, so please bear with me...

The weather outside is crappy. The roads are covered in ice and slush. I have ZERO moto to get my ass out there and run. I mean, shit, I don't wanna slip and fall. To be quite honest, though, I think my lack of running is why I've been so down lately. I mean, I run on the treadmill, but hell...what good is that? It's boring and, well...boring. I wanna lift again. I want to get back into a structured lifestyle/diet, yet every time I start too, something comes up - like, having to drop weight for the Army. Apparently, they don't want you strong, just skinny. Blah. I have legs like fuckin' granite, but they're thick. *sigh* Seriously.

Speaking of diet, I'm thinking next week, I'm going to subsist on whole grain English muffins with natty PB, rice, and Diet Mt. Dew. That'd be okay, right? Hah...carbs, protein, and caffeine - the only things I need. Might throw in a protein shake.

I have set a deadline of the end of March...of course, knowing me, if I don't meet it, I'll push the deadline out (after all, I still have 18 years to enlist before I'm deemed too old). There really is nothing more I want to do with my life than serve my country. So, to tie this to my QOTD (that's "Quote of the day" for all y'all that might be lost), my challenge is to be able to enlist (again) by the end of March. What this entails:

1) No more drinking. Really. I mean it this time.
2) STRICT diet...I'm going to keep a food journal. And lots of water.
3) A good workout routine/plan...and one that I can stick to. This will include pushups, situps, and some running every day. EVERY day.
4) Adequate sleep.
5) Proper supplementation.


So, yeah. That's what's up right now. I guess that's not really a rant. I mean, I could bitch about the stupid Army regulations (I mean, seriously...you're gonna tell me that by measuring my wrist/forearms/neck/waist and factoring in my height/weight will give you an adequate body fat percentage!? Please!), but I figure I do that enough.

Anyway, it's 22:41...I think it's bedtime for Chelsea. G'nite y'all...

Holy Fuckin' Cold!

“There are only two seasons -- winter and Baseball.”
Bill Veeck

That quote is for SFC B, who, for some odd reason, likes baseball.

Okay, so I'm just being a wuss...but it's cold outside right now!! I am seriously considering ask my aunt and uncle if I can come back...it's 28 right now, with 21mph winds, and a wind chill of 14 degrees...Saturday's low is supposed to be NEGATIVE ONE! FUCKIN' NEGATIVE ONE!! WHAT THE HELL!?

...then again, it is February in Michigan. *sigh* Change of locale, soon, please! Missouri or South Carolina might be nice...haha...=)

On other news, people at the gym keep tryin' me to switch from going Army to going AF or Navy. Blah. This one guy sings "Anchors Away" to me...and this other guy that just enlisted in the AF wants me to go talk to *his* recruiter because the AF recruiter I first talked to was a total douche...hah...

Gut Rot

Oh man...Best way to spend a Valentine's Day alone? At the bar, of course! My friend and I decided to go out after his speed skating practice. Went to a bar close to the civic arena, had a couple there...normal place. Kinda quiet. Then he decided since I had never been to this hole-in-the-wall bar, that I needed to go. So we went. Omg. The epitome of a hick bar. Hell, the bartender only had one ear. But the drinks were cheap. Although, we kept get stared at (maybe because we had all our teeth?)...I wanted a 3 Wise Men, but they didn't have any Walker, so I was sad...and the bartended, from across the bar, was like, "What do you want? As long as it ain't a left ear, I got it!" I thought I was gonna die! I felt bad for laughing...hah...It was a good night just chillin' with a friend. However, woke up at like, 0830 with the worst case of gut rot ever...It still hurts...But I made myself crawl outta bed and hit the gym...Didn't bug me too much, I just feel...ucky. Haha...And I gotta work later today. That should be fun. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. (If ya say it three times, it comes true, right?) Really though, I do love my job, just not lately. I should quit. First time I quit, I was able to get into the Army. But I'm bored enough as it is, so I need my reprieve from the boredom. Plus, I get paid for it. =) Hope y'all had a good V-Day and I hope SFC B starts feelin' better...

Valentine's Eve

"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great."
-Comte DeBussy-Rabutin

That is totally my favorite quote about love...*sigh*

Anyway, Valentine's Day is tomorrow, so Happy Valentine's Day to y'all...I hope y'all have a good day, single or not! I will, that's for sure. No, I don't get to spend the day with the person I want to, but I'm happy with my love life.

So, I went and saw the recruiter on Friday. He pulled into the parking lot at the same time as I did, and I sat in my car lookin' at my phone for a bit (trying to figure out who called - mystery number!)...anyway, he came up and knocked on my window and about scared the shit outta me. I screamed, he laughed. Into the office we went. Sat down and talked...he was having a bad day. Basically, I hafta go back THIS Friday...yay...The Station Commander wanted to talk to me - of course - which I dread. He just wanted to see how things were going. Then he looked at me and was like, "Close the door," which always scares me because I'm afraid he's gonna yell at me...He just asked me how I get my lip ring out (it's a Captive Bead Ring) because his wife has her tragus pierced and wants her CBR out. He ALWAYS freaks me out when he wants to talk to me. Blah. He just laughed. "You're so paranoid, Chelsea. When have I ever yelled at you? Well...besides that one time!" Hehe...They love me. I also talked to my recruiter about getting tattoos on my forearms. I'm stil deciding if this is something I want to do. I mean, it's what I *want* but I also *want* to work for the CIA, so I hafta be careful about my tattoo location. Instead, I'm thinking of getting some kanji characters down my spine. I asked my sister to look up the words 'strength,' 'dedication,' 'determination,' 'intelligence,' 'motivation,' and 'courage.'

Really, that's about all that's new with me. Still working out like a fiend. Except I took Saturday and Sunday off because 1)I had to work open to close both days (I work AT the damn gym) and 2)I wore myself out during the week with all the cardio and dieting I had been doing. Two well-deserved days of rest. Yay...OHH! I got my nails done earlier (every two weeks!) and they look cute, so that's something new! Pink nail polish with french tips...haha...I am such a girl!! And yet I would KILL to get an 18X or 11X with Option 40 in my contract...*sigh* Damn tits!

(Oh, and I put those links in the discussion about piercing just for you SFC B...that way you don't get confused! KIDDING!!!)

Happy Hump Day

“The more sweat in training, the less blood on the battlefield.”
General Patton

If this is true, right now, I should never see any blood, EVER! On my quest to fulfill my promise to my recruiter to be within 5 pounds of where I need to be by this week, I have probably sweated off, ohhh...shit...10 pounds minimum. Haha...it's exhausting, to say the least. And the diet part is kinda hard...trying not to eat that much. But I decided to incorporate natty peanut butter, so that way my cravings are under control. However, I'm definitely feeling it. This morning, I got on the treadmill to run (since its HELLA cold out right now, and snowy)...couldn't. My body was like, "No ma'am." Hah...so I walked, quickly...at an incline...for an hour. I don't know how those other people can walk that long...I get bored very easily. At least I had ESPN to entertain me (I ALWAYS watch ESPN when doing cardio). Anyway, this week I've been doing three hours of cardio a day - 1.5 hrs in the morning and 1.5 hrs in the afternoon, making sure to burn 1,000 calories (minimum) each time, according to my heart-rate monitor (which I love and recommend EVERYONE get one!).

I also taught my first spin class last night...well, "indoor cycling." My friend Erik put it simply, "So, you're teaching people how to ride stationary bikes?" Hah...it's harder than that! At least my classes are!! It was okay...everyone was sweating by the end. I love that shit! My other friend Kevin was like, "But you're a runner, not a cyclist!" Hehe...it was cool to be called a runner by someone like him. I mean, he's a competitive speed skater and totally rocks...so, yeah...I had a slight ego-boost from that. Anyway, my favorite workout is to go for a nice 5-mile run (outside) and then hop on a spin bike and do a fun 75-minute ride. GREAT!! Seriously though, I love it.

That's really all that's been going on with me. Spending OODLES of time in the gym...and sleeping. Hah...

...and, by the way, right after I posted my last entry, my profile updated...Yay...That picture of me reminds me of pictures of my dad from when he was in the Corps...crazy. Very rarely do I look like anyone in my family. And SFC B, notice the LABRET piercing...haha...Sorry! I still find that humorous!! =)

Dammit!

Dammit. Why isn't my profile updating!? I changed it YESTERDAY and it's still the old one...
Here...because I like this song and it's not working on my MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/wannabesoldier83)...

American Soldier

Quick Change

I don't know, but I've been told
The Marine Corp thinks it's mighty bold
They don't know what the Army can do
We are proud of our history too
Our looks and style may not be smooth
But you oughta see this Army move
Look to left and what do you see
A bunch of jarheads just looking at me
Shout it out and sing it loud
I'm a Soldier and I'm mighty proud!

Army running cadence

Wow...so I went to Texas for a week...came home last Wednesday...when I left Tejas, it was ~80 degrees...when I came back to Michigan, it was ~40 degrees...WTF!? But yeah, I'm back home...

So last Thursday, my friend Erik and I decided to hang out...actually, we planned to while I was still in Tejas...He needed to get some stuff for some t-shirts he makes, so we met up at the craft store that is literally RIGHT NEXT DOOR to my recruiter's office...It was like 7:30p, and I was like, "HEY! Let's go see my recruiter!" Erik rolled his eyes and we continued into the store. Seriously, not even five minutes later, I get a phone call from my recruiter; "Hey crackhead! How ya been?" "Did you see my car in the parking lot or wha?!" "No. I'm driving back to the office right now. I hadn't talked to you in a while and I wanted to see how things were." Talk about weird. Anyway...Erik and I didn't go see him that night, but I told him I would stop in Friday morning, so I did. We just chit-chatted for a bit, and I got teased, a lot, which really isn't nothing new both with my recruiter and everyone else I know. Anyway, I told my recruiter I would be within five pounds of the weight that I needed to be at by the following Friday. Weighed myself this morning. Haha...I shouldn't have told my recruiter that. Oh well. I can do it. It's really nothing new. I honestly, though, don't think I like look I weigh as much as I do. I know, I know..."Muscle weighs more than fat." (Which, actually, it doesn't. A pound of fat is the same as a pound of muscle, but a pound of muscle takes up less space.) I want this bad, so I'll do what I need to to get where I need to be. I plan on packing a bag for BCT sometime this week, so whenever my recruiter says, "All right, you can get the MOS you want but you hafta leave next week," I'll be ready.

Moving on. Last night when my dad and I were grocery shopping, I ran into my awesome tattoo artist...talked to him for a bit, and I asked if I could stop by Monday to talk about and maybe get some work done...so that's my plan for this evening. I am so freakin' excited!! I love getting modifications. I was also told that my friend may start training to become a piercer. I told him I would be his pin cushion for his training...haha...yay...I know, I know! I can't have my piercings when I leave for BCT...It'll be fun to have them in the meantime!! Haha...that reminds me, when I stopped in to talk to my recruiter Friday, he called up my favorite person, the station commander, and made me talk to him. The SC told me I didn't need a waiver to get back in and then he was like, "So, dare I ask what else you've gotten pierced since I've last seen you?" I laughed and promised him I hadn't gotten anything else pierced. (For those that may be lost at this point, back in November, I got my labret repierced - it was pierced before, but I took it out...then the piercing place had a special, so I got it repierced because I like the way it looks on me.)

So, I hope y'all are doing okay...I'll keep this updated more this week as I find out more information...

(And I'm watching the Tyra show...apparently she has a fear of dolphins...what the fuck!?)